Medicine For Melancholy

With all of this Obama hype; and that fact that he has been pretty much categorized at this point as African American; it has made me contemplate blackness and what that means in terms of class, education, culture, country. What is the pervasive African American cultural Aesthetic, in the minds of most Americans? This discussion is an old one; but it is really rediculous how far away from Flavor of the Month my world and the world of my peers seems to be. Is it Reverend Wright? Is it Morehouse and Spelman? It's complex as we know but I have been yearning for something to represent me; a mass media voice for my friends and our conversations. Our aesthetic and our concerns. We seem to be caught in the middle of Jeremiah Wright and maybe even Barack Obama. We are cultural aware and the concept of defining ourselves is a constant part of the conversation. We are Anti-American and proudly American, we are extra-black yet proud that we enjoy non "urban" shit and have white friends. It's funny! Anyway, I came across film and even though I've only seen this trailer; I am praying that it is amazing and that it finds distribution so my friends and I and all of the black folks like us can have something commercial that represents us.

Thankful!

Yesterday was my birthday and I am definitely thankful for another year. I am 38 now and closing in on 40 really quickly. Seems kind of weird as it feels like I was just 28, though I would not choose to go back to those times. I was actually older, mentally and spiritually at 28 than now. I also had more cash back then, go figure. Anyway, yesterday I had a wonderful birthday. I am a very social person who seems to easily gain friends; in fact in someways I may have too many folks in my life. But yesterday, I had a day of one on one quality interactions. I had lunch with my new younger brother homie Joel Then at Victors (Victor's is amazing, I highly recommend it for a nice night out) Joel is only 22 years old but he is wise beyond his years and I really respect and love that dude. Then I went to see the new Narnia film with my close friend Michael Wientrob; who actually hurt my feelings, earlier that day, LOL; but redeemed himself by being the only one of my friends to come to the movies with me. I give Michael a hard time all of the time because he's a bit of a lunatic, but I really love that dude. I must say though that the best that thing happened to me yesterday was a phone call that I received unexpectedly from a GIRL. I'm not saying who it was because that's a secret, but I will say that it was the first time that I have talked to this particular crush of mine in about 8 months. We have sent texts to each other back and forth here and there recently; but we haven't actually talked. After hearing her voice again really reinforced my crush. I can't lie, my heart was kind of bugging afterwards, I really miss talking to her. I'm 38 damn years old and I feel like a kid with a crush a huge crush. Anyway, unfortunately she doesn't live in NY (that's a clue for those who know me). I will leave another clue as well. Anyway, I am supposed to have a party on Saturday to celebrate my birthday and Michael's moving back into his studio, why he left is a long and crazy story and getting back in merits a celebration. Oh, by the way; Narnia was hell of long but I really enjoyed it!!

ADGER COWANS!

On the A train, on my way to my meditation class in New Rochelle I ran into Adger Cowans; an African American photography pioneer and legend. I learned about Adger Cowans in graduate school after I was introduced to the work of Roy DeCarava by my photography professor Gene Crediford. When researching the upper echelon of black photographers those 2 names would come up again and again. So when I got back to NY; I sought both of them out to show them my work. Roy DeCarava I found out was teaching at Hunter College so I arranged to meet him during his office hours. He told me then that I had real talent but that my prints had too much contrast. Adger, I met while volunteering one summer at the Black Film maker Foundation with Warrington Hudlin. He was a trip then and is a trip now; a strikingly handsome man that must have been a huge player in his day. He must be in his seventies now and yet he has the spirit and youthful ness of someone my age. For that short period on the train we talked about spirituality, cinematography and Barack Obama. Seeing him was a real treat and certainly made my day. He gave me his email and I will certainly keep in touch. The only thing that I regret was that I forgot that I had my little digital camera in my pocket as I was so engrossed in the conversation, so I forgot to snap his picture for this blog entry. All I could find online is this low-res deal that doesn't represent him well and a picture of his eyes.

Is this dude about to be President?

We must realize what we may be witnessing; if a guy named Barack Husien Obama becomes President of the United States, everything has been turned upside down..in good way. It's a monumental shift in the America psychology. It changes the lexicon of commander and cheif; the change is way beyond policy or Washington culture; this is an American cultural shift.

China, The New Frontier?

Earlier today I was reading a blog post from an Ed Peto, an American music critic living in China. He was talking about the music industry there and giving advice on how American labels can do business with caution. Most of the opportunities as he describes them, seem to be Long Tail. My label; being a small fish in a global pond, seems to have the disadvantage when approaching Long Tail opportunities for the simple fact that by the time I am able to sort out the benefits, I may not still be in business. If you listen to Gerd Leonhard, whom I greatly respect intellectually, you would learn that he believes that the notion of Copyright, which is essentially the right to sell a copy of music whether it be physical or digital is becoming or is irrelevant. Well, where does that leave me as a poorly funded independent producer of media content. Well as Gerd says is all in the clicks or the audience, once you have galvanized an audience by essentially allowing them access to your content for free; you can sell them ancillary products as well as use your content to sell other products visa vie licensing.

I know that I went on a tangeant but this is where China comes back into focus. Everyone knows that China is coming into it's own as a new super power and even though it is a communist country, their doors are open for business. The question is how does someone like me get a chance to play and how do I navigate the culture. Well, the article that I read gave some sound advice: 1) Create Chinese Metadata online for your media products, so that the folks who use Baidu, China's number 1 search engine can find you. 2) Create a Chinese version of your web presence and make it simple. 3) Align yourself with a respectable partner in China that is tapped into the local music industry. 4) If you are a label and you want to make money in China make sure you have some type of 360 or partnership deal with your artists because the money there is in touring and merchandise. Well, I'm going to pick up a some Rosetta Stone software and be about the business of learning Mandarin; Nee Hao Ma, bitches!!

Funniest Ever!!

I came across this today and to me this is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Well not ever; but definitely up there check it out!!

Fear is an incredible emotion! Fear will often trump hunger. It has the power to keep a slave from seeking freedom. As I watched the comments from anti-Obama West Virginians it dawned on me that Obama's candidacy for the democratic nomination threatens much more than we can imagine. It threatens the concept of white supremacy; and as my brother Christopher Moye stated in a recent email to me, it brings up the subconscious fear that America's dominance in the world is quickly coming to an end. This fear is real; most of the hard working white people in rural America that Hillary counts as her core constituency has never had to deal with the cultural the ideas of other races and nationalities. These people have always been on the outside and seen as inferior to America and especially to white America. Is Chris stated; the bottom line is the largest publicly traded company in the world is in Beijing, and the largest investment fund is in Abu Dhabi. We all know how the dollar holds up against the Euro. These details are probably consciously unknown to most heartland patriots but subconsciously, maybe even spiritually, they are sensing change, and that change for the most part doesn't include them. Maybe that's what they feel about the change that Obama represents? Maybe subconsciously, this man of multi-ethnic, multi-national background represents a different paradigm of what an American that wants to compete in a newly accessible global economy needs to be. Maybe, he threatens the old American, bend to our culture and you don't matter attitude towards the world that we American's used to get away with.

I found this image of this black man in Kentucky obviously upset with Obama; and it dawned on me that there must be a segment of the Black community that is also fearful. Fearful that the Obama family represent a change that they are not ready for. Maybe this image creates an intra-racial xenophobia that we as the educated leisure class can not understand.

It's been couple of days since I have had a chance to write I need to catch up on things. Oh, I had an extremely busy day on Saturday. My new artist Kameron Corvet; opened for Tamia and Jaheem at the Beacon Theater. That was an interesting spectacle. Let me just say that Tamia is a real talent and if she would have decided to sell a little more sex in her act like Beyonce she would be much bigger now. I must also say that Jaheem is one of the worst live performers of all time. He is completely uncomfortable with himself on stage and although he has a nice voice; he is definitely not a star.

After that Kameron and I went to Fort Greene so that he could perform at my friend Veronica's birthday party. I have to say; Veronica through the party of the year. I had a ball; everyone was cool and open and the DJ's were off the hook! I danced my old ass off!!

Brooklyn, England, Japan!!

Publish Post



It is a really dark and dreary day today in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. It feels like Brixton, London! Even though I prefer the hot weather; I kind of like these kind of days, they force people to be quiet and reflective. Rain is a way of washing away the excess noise; if the traffic and the honking seems quieter. Today has a beautiful stillness to it; I'm working from home today in beautiful rainy Stuyvesant Heights.

I am also excited because I found some of my digital photos from my 2005 Japan trip and a few that I took on my tour of Australia in 2006. I thought I lost all of these when my PC crashed. Turns out I saved 144 of those images on my little cheap point and shoot; I may have lost a lot of my favorites unfortunately; but I will take what I have. I shot a lot of stuff on my medium format pro film cameras as well, and that stuff I have.

Speaking of Japan, I got a call from Nami Higa last night from Highwave Records in Okinawa, who licensed Martin Luther's "Rebel Soul Music," release for the Japanese market. Apparently, Across the Universe is just being released there this summer and there has been a lot of hype. She wants to arrange for Martin to perform in Tokyo around the release of the film in August. That's what's up!! I'm definitely rolling on that trip I miss Japan! Last time I was there I got a good taste of the city and the country side for about 3 weeks. Amazing country! Check out some of my re-found pics.

This is bananas!! Has anyone else noticed that the earth is not playing right now? I mean the cyclones, brush fires, and earthquakes in the last couple of weeks has been bananas!!

Swimming

Every morning I try my best to do a 20 minute meditation. It's really hard for me as my mind is really active first thing in the morning. I work on focusing myself by listening to my breathing or focusing on the beat of my heart. Sometimes I cannot control my distraction but I still spend the time with my eyes closed giving that time to myself and God to be still.

This morning I am heading to the pool at St. John's Recreational Center. It's located in Crown Heights at 1251 Prospect Place between Troy and Schenectady. That place is a steal @ 75 dollars a year, it's one of those NYC bargains that make this city affordable, like the Halal buffet spots on Fulton between Franklin and Bedford. I love swimming there because I get to see my swimming buddies; a group of old black men that I affectionately call my uncles. There is Uncle Junior, Uncle Pat, Uncle Clarence, Uncle Richard, Uncle Percy and Uncle George. We spend half of the time there talking shit about politics, sex, and just clowning. It's good to know that you never grow out of clowning with your boys. Some of my uncles there are in their 80's and they are the biggest clowns. I love it!!

Awakening!

I was riding my bike today coming from a local meeting in Crown Heights. Jonathan Weinberger is a 49 year old orthodox jewish guy who owns 59 buildings in NY City. Needless to say he is "Rich Bitch," and really smart. He bought this condemned building that was subbing as a homeless shelter/section 8 building. The building has 50 huge units; and he was able to buy the building from the city for $1,000,000. Now that's where he is hooked up; now here is where he is smart. The location of the building is still a little hood crunchy; but not bananas. So what he decided to do with the space is make it a artist centric building called "Creative Heights." He found a local artist of color on Craig's List and offered her a free apartment to manage the space and recruit all of her artist friends to live there. Of course he has offered these apartments for well below market rental rates. He understands that the best way to gentrify a "borderline" is to bring black artists and recent college grads into the area. Soon pioneering whites will come as they feel cool and comfortable loving amongst the cool negroes, and the property value of the neighborhood will skyrocket. Now years ago; I would have felt weird about knowing this and not getting mad; but today, freak it!! At least some cool black folks have awesome cheap apartments, I'm not mad. Not only am I not mad; I'm profiting from it. I am consulting him on how to provide Internet access to residents in the building for free. 

On the way back from the building I ran into my boy Naya; he at once invited me to his new crib in Crown Heights, MAN!! This guy's crib is awesome, I was so inspired! This guy pulled his bucks together as a freelance photographer and events promoter. When I say awesome, I mean limestone, huge...come up!! Naya is a bit older than I am and has always been about his money. I am an idea person and my money has always been secondary. This year is all about the gwap; I need to buy a crib, absolutely!!

May 12, 2008

Today, I am glad to be alive. I understand that my choices in life are my choices and that they have been a direct result of where my consciousness was at the time that I made them. I am learning that all actions have reactions or repercussions. I believe that thoughts and desires are actions.

I am on my way to my consulting job; again lending my time and my thoughts to someone else for a low fee. What does that say about how I feel about myself? Can I justify this time spent? Can I foresee spending my time and talent building something exclusively for myself? Even my record label requires much sacrifice financially, intellectually, and even emotionally at times and is not exclusively beneficial to me. Maybe exclusively beneficial is an impossible concept. Sometimes I wish that I could live in a bubble where I didn’t have to be accountable to anything or anyone; just the myself. I know that sounds extremely selfish; maybe it is. It’s just a fantasy, but at this time in my life I want to grow and I would like sometime to do it on my own terms.

I feel like I’m hiding in someway by working with or for someone else. I want to be a pure expression unto myself in something that I do. I don’t even do my photography anymore and that was the most independent expression that I had. Why have I abandoned that? What does that say about me? Am I thinking too much? Well, I learned from a teacher of mine that the clearest path to self-realization is constant self-analysis and meditation. Our lives in fact are meditations. This self-analysis is not a brutal process but a joyous exercise, a practice of self-love. Of course, I have not fully integrated this process into my life and therefore have not fully learned it.

I have decided to write this blog to create something that is uniquely me. Maybe some will get where I’m coming from; and that would be awesome!!

Peace,
Shawn P